Today, I would like to teach guys and gals how to give oral sex to a woman. To start, you have to get to know your partner and what they like. It helps when couples sit down and actually talk about what has felt good in the past or even what they do to themselves when masturbating.
When some girls masturbate, they touch around the vagina first and then go to the clitoris. Other girls don't even start with the vagina. They may start with a warm bath, thinking of a fantasy, touching other parts of their body to get things going and then head to the vagina. Whatever the case, ask your girl what she would prefer you to do.
Next, I'll offer a few pointers for your own knowledge. While many guys tend to be okay with someone touching their penis right away. Girls sometimes want there to be a focus on other body parts first. Think of guys being like microwaves and girls being like ovens. For a girl, it helps to preheat the oven.
You can preheat the oven by kissing around her neck and ears, kissing down her belly, over her chest and even on her legs. You can also French kiss each other while touching some of these parts of the body. Spend at least some time making out. For each situation, the amount of time may be different. Girls like variety, so it is good to mix it up. Sometimes spend 20 to 30 minutes making out before going down on her. Other times, if you have already been flirting throughout the day or you can tell she is really in the mood, you can go down after five minutes. Either way, try to mix it up.
When you do go down, you can use a variety of positions. For example, you can be standing up, push her against the wall, and go down on her on your knees. You can also push her onto the edge of the bed and be on your knees leaning over her vagina. Another position is for her to be laid out flat on the bed or with her legs up in a V shape with your face over her vagina. Like I said before, it's good to switch things up.
Once you are down there, start giving a mixture of pecks and French kisses above the pubes around the side of the vagina on the legs while every now and then going straight for the vagina and then moving away again. This technique can cause her to feel some anticipation or longing. If she tries to move your head to her vagina, you can start to kiss her there and then switch it up again by kissing the top, the sides, even into the pubes if you feel up for it.
Let her guide you with her moans, words and or movements. Sometimes girls will try to shift you by shifting their body. This can be a great time to say, "Where do you want me to go next?" For the girls receiving oral sex, gently encourage your partner by praising things that feel good, and guiding them to the areas you want them to spend more time in.
After a little teasing, start licking in the inner labia. This is the wetter, reddish or darker area of the vagina. For some people it is difficult to find the clitoris because the inner labia can have several folds and layers. The clitoris also hides under something called the clitoral hood. Ask your girl to show you where her clitoris is located. You can start by licking the inner labia on either side and then licking the clitoris.
A few different techniques to try: 1) Trace your ABCs across the clitoris. Trace the tongue into an A, a B, etc. This can stimulate the clitoris in a variety of ways and is very sexy. 2) Use your tongue in circles around the clitoris. 3) Flatten your tongue and lick in an upward motion ending with the tip of the tongue. Use long slow strokes. 4) Use quick, short flicks on the clitoris while simultaneously lifting open and releasing the clitoral hood. 5) Use your tongue like a vibrator and try to quickly tap the clitoris. You can also incorporate a variety of the above techniques into one oral sex session.
These are just a few examples of things you may try. For anything you use, check with your girl on what feels good to her. The challenging thing about oral sex is that each person enjoys it differently. Some girls like more of the spontaneity while other girls have specific movements that drive them crazy.
If you are still at a loss, it can also be helpful to have your girl pick out a movie that shows how she likes to receive oral sex. Watch it together and have her point out the specific things she might want you to try. Then try them and see what works. The ultimate goal is to keep learning about each other and to take your cues from her.
Angela Skurtu is the owner of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC a private practice that focuses on couples and sex therapy. To make an appointment call 314-973-7997 or visit www.therapistinstlouis.com.
