It's that time again when romance is in the air and you start thinking about how to celebrate the love you have-Valentine's Day! What better way to celebrate this lovely day then by getting a little sex education!
Come to the next Sex, Wine and Chocolate Seminar. This session features 3 very interesting women who know a lot about sex. Our first speaker is Dr. Naughton, a local Urologist with the Center for Sexual Health Metropolitan Urological Specialists. She works with both men and women and is one of the only Urologists in St. Louis who specializes in sexual medicine. She will be speaking about common female sexual dysfunctions and the medical options available to treat these problems.
Second to speak is Brooke Kalisiak, owner of Legacy Physical Therapy. She is a pelvic floor physical therapist who specializes in the physical therapy treatment of women's sexual dysfunction. She helps women who experience pain during sex with specific exercises that help them work through the pain and enjoy sex again. She will speak about helpful physical therapy treatments she offers and educate women about bladder health.
Our final speaker is Angela Skurtu, owner of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Sex Educator. She works with couples and individuals on creating a healthy relationship and a healthy sex life. Angela will be speaking about sexual health for couples-specifically about how to keep the spark in your relationship long term.
To purchase tickets to this event, please visit http://www.therapistinstlouis.com/pages/Events or call Angela Skurtu at 314-973-7997.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Sex Education for Parents with Teens
The most common form of sex education used these days is abstinence only sex education. Several local schools in the St. Louis area tout that they have a great program that encourages teenagers to be abstinent until marriage. The only problem is that research shows that abstinence only programs don't work. Why?
Many teenagers, whether we like it or not, will have sex before getting married. While it is a great ideal to wait until marriage, the vast majority of adults report that they did not wait. The trouble with an abstinence only program is that it doesn't teach kids how to protect themselves from STDs or unwanted pregnancies. It only teaches them to avoid sex.
What this creates is a complete lack of understanding about what factors cause STDs such as oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal sex without condoms. Many teenagers will not ask their parents for condoms and then engage in these activities without any protection. This has lead to teens in St. Louis having one of the highest rates of STDs in the country. We also have a high number of unwanted teen pregnancies for this reason.
The hard fact is that in addition to encouraging teenagers to wait, we really need to teach them how to be safe as well. Your teens will have sex whether you like or not, and isn't better to prevent unnecessary harm?
To think about this differently, do you remember when you were teaching your child to ride a bicycle? Did you give them a helmet to wear? By giving your child a helmet, you weren't saying to your child, "I support you getting into an accident. Go! Ride recklessly into the night!" Of course you don't support accidents. You still taught your kid how to ride and be safe, but you gave the helmet for just in case something happened.
The same could be said for condoms and birth control. Giving your kids these items does not mean, "Hey, I support you having a bunch of reckless sex. Go forth and enjoy your new found freedom!" No, you are still responsible for teaching your kids how to be safe, how to make the best choice for themselves, and how to decide when the time is right for them. However, you also give them a helmet (or condom) for just in case. Because your teen may not tell you when they do decide to have sex. An wouldn't it be better if they were protected just in case?
Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT is the owner of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC, a private practice that offers couples and sex therapy. To make an appointment, call 314-973-7997 or visit www.TherapistinStLouis.com.
Many teenagers, whether we like it or not, will have sex before getting married. While it is a great ideal to wait until marriage, the vast majority of adults report that they did not wait. The trouble with an abstinence only program is that it doesn't teach kids how to protect themselves from STDs or unwanted pregnancies. It only teaches them to avoid sex.
What this creates is a complete lack of understanding about what factors cause STDs such as oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal sex without condoms. Many teenagers will not ask their parents for condoms and then engage in these activities without any protection. This has lead to teens in St. Louis having one of the highest rates of STDs in the country. We also have a high number of unwanted teen pregnancies for this reason.
The hard fact is that in addition to encouraging teenagers to wait, we really need to teach them how to be safe as well. Your teens will have sex whether you like or not, and isn't better to prevent unnecessary harm?
To think about this differently, do you remember when you were teaching your child to ride a bicycle? Did you give them a helmet to wear? By giving your child a helmet, you weren't saying to your child, "I support you getting into an accident. Go! Ride recklessly into the night!" Of course you don't support accidents. You still taught your kid how to ride and be safe, but you gave the helmet for just in case something happened.
The same could be said for condoms and birth control. Giving your kids these items does not mean, "Hey, I support you having a bunch of reckless sex. Go forth and enjoy your new found freedom!" No, you are still responsible for teaching your kids how to be safe, how to make the best choice for themselves, and how to decide when the time is right for them. However, you also give them a helmet (or condom) for just in case. Because your teen may not tell you when they do decide to have sex. An wouldn't it be better if they were protected just in case?
Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT is the owner of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC, a private practice that offers couples and sex therapy. To make an appointment, call 314-973-7997 or visit www.TherapistinStLouis.com.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Affairs-A Practical Approach
One of the most common issues I deal with in therapy is couples getting over an affair. Affairs have a way of jarring people and shaking them to the core. For those who get involved in the affair, they question their marriage, their happiness, and even their choices overall in life. For people who have been cheated on, they report suffering PTSD like symptoms, they struggle to trust their partner, and suffer trying to put the pieces back together again.
There is no easy way to rebuild after an affair. As a therapist, I try to help people gain closure and figure out whether to stay in their relationships. If they do choose to stay, I help them take steps to rebuild trust and gain confidence in their interpersonal relationship.
My one wish is that it could be avoided for couples. In order to prevent this from occurring in your own relationship, there are a few steps you can take as a couple. Step 1, recognize you are capable of cheating. Anyone is capable. Whether you like it or not, you are a person who will likely find other people outside of your relationship attractive. Just because you find someone attractive, does not mean you need to act on it. It is natural to find others attractive and it is common to find a few people along the way that you could potentially develop a connection with. However, a new connection does not have to sever an old one.
Step 2, take steps to prevent affairs. Since you know it is possible, find ways to remove yourself or reduce contact with people who could pose a threat to your current relationship. For example, if you notice you find someone in your office attractive, avoid situations alone with them. These situations could include going out for cocktails, going on trips, or even just a friendly lunch. All of these situations can be potential starts of extramarital affairs.
Step 3, Invest in your current relationship. Often, people will say things weren't going well in their relationship when they found their affair partner. If you find yourself feeling distant or lonely in your relationship, do something about it. Spend more time together. Actively choose to think positive thoughts about your partner 4 times a day. Practice touching more both sexually and non-sexually. Commit to a daily cuddle time before bed. Explore new sexual horizons.
As always, seek counseling if the problems feel too big to solve on your own or if you are not sure what to do to make things better. Many people are already in decent relationships. We just take for granted what we have and forget to make our relationships a priority. There is always a chance to make a change for the better.
Angela Skurtu owns St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC, a private practice that focuses in couples and sex therapy. For more information or to make an appointment, please contact Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT at 314-973-7997 or visit www.TherapistinStLouis.com.
There is no easy way to rebuild after an affair. As a therapist, I try to help people gain closure and figure out whether to stay in their relationships. If they do choose to stay, I help them take steps to rebuild trust and gain confidence in their interpersonal relationship.
My one wish is that it could be avoided for couples. In order to prevent this from occurring in your own relationship, there are a few steps you can take as a couple. Step 1, recognize you are capable of cheating. Anyone is capable. Whether you like it or not, you are a person who will likely find other people outside of your relationship attractive. Just because you find someone attractive, does not mean you need to act on it. It is natural to find others attractive and it is common to find a few people along the way that you could potentially develop a connection with. However, a new connection does not have to sever an old one.
Step 2, take steps to prevent affairs. Since you know it is possible, find ways to remove yourself or reduce contact with people who could pose a threat to your current relationship. For example, if you notice you find someone in your office attractive, avoid situations alone with them. These situations could include going out for cocktails, going on trips, or even just a friendly lunch. All of these situations can be potential starts of extramarital affairs.
Step 3, Invest in your current relationship. Often, people will say things weren't going well in their relationship when they found their affair partner. If you find yourself feeling distant or lonely in your relationship, do something about it. Spend more time together. Actively choose to think positive thoughts about your partner 4 times a day. Practice touching more both sexually and non-sexually. Commit to a daily cuddle time before bed. Explore new sexual horizons.
As always, seek counseling if the problems feel too big to solve on your own or if you are not sure what to do to make things better. Many people are already in decent relationships. We just take for granted what we have and forget to make our relationships a priority. There is always a chance to make a change for the better.
Angela Skurtu owns St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC, a private practice that focuses in couples and sex therapy. For more information or to make an appointment, please contact Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT at 314-973-7997 or visit www.TherapistinStLouis.com.
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