Polyamory-Honest Pros and Cons-Part 1.

With the expectations that everyone is telling the truth and sticking to set boundaries, polyamory could in fact be an ideal situation. Partners are both encouraged to explore their sexual interests and to even pursue other relationships. For couples who feel the spark is missing, but still feel a real close connection as parents, or family, this can seem like one viable route to taking care of the need for new and interesting sexual experiences.

In an ideal polyamory setting, the couple is completely honest with each other and set clear boundaries for what is acceptable and unacceptable in their relationship. This includes being clear about who they are dating, when they are feeling the outside relationship is becoming more than play partners, but lovers, and being clear about when they have conflicting needs. The idea is that when you are jealous or hurt by something from your partner, you work it out. You sort out differences, listen, respect each other, and find ways to compromise.

The ultimate goal would be to work through jealousy, keep an open contract, and be willing to negotiate throughout the relationship to take care of all parties. One example of a time to negotiate would be when adding in a new partner. Perhaps the couple already sees couples together, but would like the opportunity to have an individual relationship that is not shared. In a situation like this, the couple would discuss both sides, possibly try it out, but be willing to make compromises if it caused some difficulty in the relationship.

While polyamory seems to be the perfect solution, trouble does occur. I have seen countless couples who angrily discuss how their needs are not met, their partner doesn't show love or respect, and they never compromise about anything. Sometimes, a polyamorous relationship makes this more difficult as now you are expected to consider those same emotional needs from a whole new set of parties. Thus divided loyalties ensue, and what is meant to be a helpful solution can sometimes turn into a much more complicated mess.

In the next couple of blogs, I will present a few pros and cons of each life style-monogamy and polyamory with the hope that couples can make the best decision for themselves. 

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